I’m getting married!

But don’t expect a princess gala.

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I will have these

I will have these boots, and I feel sorry for anyone who stands in my way. These are “heirloom” boots that will last for 1,000 years + a day, just to spite their nay-sayers.

Sofft "Flora" in black

Sofft "Flora" in black

Born "Norelle" in Ciocolatto

Born "Norelle" in Ciocolatto

I made the biggest mistake EVER (or at least that season) in not buying the last-year’s version of these boots when I still had a salary. I was devastated when they were completely gone after Christmas.  I won’t be so “wise” this year.

Heels for the black so they can be dressed up, flats for the brown so they can be worn to class every day in the winter. Holla!

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Kitchen Envy

Do you remember that episode of “Sex and the City” when Carrie’s Manolos get stolen at a friend’s baby shower? Her friend refused to replace them, and Carrie was extremely pissed. Then she sat down and figured up how much money she had spent on this friend over the years — wedding showers, flying to her wedding, baby gifts, etc. So, what did Carrie do? She marched over to the Manolo store and registered for a pair identical to the one that had been stolen, then sent her friend a “single announcement.” And her friend, realizing what a bia she had been, bought Carrie the shoes.

Carrie’s point in this episode is that in our couple-centric society, we treat weddings as the ultimate (and pretty much only) reason for a woman to get all of the swag she could ever wag her tongue at. In American, it’s as if a woman’s cooking inclinations can only begin once she’s in the role of “Wife,” and any claims to it prior to marriage are just hollow, meaningless, the wistful wishful thinking of spinsters and bachelor girls who are pining over the days of “what if.”

BULLSHIT. A couple months ago I made a list of all the kitchen gear I’d like to own, and today I am adding those items to my personal Amazon Wish List. I don’t have to be married to want a Le Creuset grill pan or a KitchenAid Stand Mixer.

KitchenAid Stand Mixer

And speaking of the stand mixer… my grandmother has one. If you’ve known me at all since the 5th grade, you know that I harbor a not-so-secret lust for Mugga’s KitchenAid stand mixer. I have been seriously coveting HER mixer since I was about 10.  I’m sure it’s not polite to speak so bluntly about coveting what isn’t mine, but dear sweet Baby Jesus in heaven, I want that thing. Getting my own at any point seems like a sin against that mixer, because I have wanted it for so long. But I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll just need to get my own. So, it’s going on my Amazon Wish List, bitches.

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I’m So Excited

I finished my last two projects for Summer I!! If you care to check it out, I’ve created a webpage to host them.

I’m very proud of all my hard work, but don’t get too excited: I didn’t design that pretty cherry blossom background.

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My Buddy & Me

My Buddy

My Buddy

On July 10, our family dog Buddy left us to go run in that dog park in the sky. It was completely unexpected, and so we were all in shock on Friday. We buried him at home after a tearful good-bye/memorial service. There were construction workers doing some work on a house across the lake; I’m sure they were wondering what all that wailing was (I’ll lay claim to that).

We’re all still pretty upset over it, but I wanted to do a little virtual send-up for him. He seriously made our lives better, and made us better people.

Here are some of the things I’ll remember most about him:

1. 80,000 nicknames (Bubba, Boo-boo, Buddy-Boo, Wiggaly-Butt, Choctaw Baby [that one’s Mom, I’m not claiming that one], Our Special Baby, Baby, Precious, Howard [as in Hughes… don’t ask], Budster… the list goes on)

2. Pooping in the basement. Seriously, this dog had the run of the house. He literally had access to all three floors, but graciously limited his potty breaks to the basement. He was able to hit the pee-pee on the potty pad we provided, but for some reason, #2 just had to go on the concrete.

3. The Legend of Buddy & the Baby Jesus. When he was, I don’t know, like 4, we came home several times during the Christmas season to find that somehow our precious Budster had managed to finagle Baby Jesus out of his manger and lay him under the Christmas tree, managing to only injure Baby Jesus’s feet. He also somehow accomplished this without knocking down the extremely wobbly Wise Man that always had to rest on the edge of the creche.

4. Buddy & The Lake. When we would take Buddy down to visit The Lake, it was always fun. For one, their dog Big (a ginormous Rhodesian Ridgeback) would pal around with our 15-lb. Manchester pup like they were nothing but equals. Big even put up with Buddy’s completely socially inadequate play methods (Buddy would “play” with other dogs by kinda pouncing on their sides in a “playful” way. Big is seriously the only dog who ever “got” this.). Then there’s the time that Will was playing fetch with Buddy, and threw the ball through the plate glass door, which was set into a wall of windows. I think you “see” where this is going… Well, Buddy didn’t. He ran smack-dab into that glass door, knocked himself over, then shook it off and went to retrieve the ball. He was always a sport!

5. Buddy & the Grill. One Fourth of July down at The Lake, the grill almost exploded on the back porch (or so we thought). Somehow we managed to hustle like 45 people out of the house in under two minutes. Everyone, that is, except for Buddy. Mom goes running into the house to save him, because we can see him running around panicked and trapped. Gramps yells out, “Forget the damn dog! It’s not safe!” Well, that just wouldn’t do. So Mom runs into a house we are all certain is about to explode to save Buddy. She gets him, and we’re trying not to cry, when we realize the grill is not about to explode… the hose is just loose. So we all head back inside… and then Laurie’s Americana Berry Cobbler explodes. Scary! But we were all okay. Buddy included.

6. Being absolutely the best nap buddy ever. I swear, that dog was a slut and would snuggle up next to anyone. And he’d end up hogging the bed, but something about having him there just made the nap that much better.

There are 87,000 more things that I remember and treasure about him; this list certainly doesn’t do it justice. But it’s just a little bit of sharing for a dog who touched my life so much.

I miss you, Buddy. I wish you hadn’t had to leave us so soon.

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Veggie Tales

I hate vegetables. But I need to eat more. And I need to eat fewer carbs and less meat. This is very painful for me to admit, because I love everything that has a carb in it: cake, cookies, cereal, chips, bread, pasta, tortillas, potatoes… the list goes on and on. And from what I hear, leafy greens are the veggies to eat.

Veggies I actually eat:

Spinach (raw, like in a salad. Cooked makes me want to gag, unless it’s in a quiche or spinach-artichoke dip)

Carrots, raw

Celery, raw, for dipping

Tomatoes, sliced, like for a sandwich, and never diced or wedged

Salsa, which totally counts — it’s tomatoes AND bell peppers AND onions

Bell pepper — not picky. Any way they come is great with me!

Onions, same, though I do slightly prefer cooked

Mushrooms, COOKED ONLY.

Lettuce, salads and sandwich garnish

Cabbage, in cole slaw ONLY. And I’m picky about the cole slaw — I usually prefer the Asian kind, in a vinegar slaw

Potatoes any way… which really doesn’t count as a veggie any more, right?

Sweet potatoes — this is new. I just realized that I liked them outside of sweet potato casserole (the pralined variety) this year

Green beans, fresh or canned French-style

CORN. Sorry, I do. It’s yummy anyway you slice it.

Okra. Fried, of course. I am from Alabama, after all

Asparagus, roasted, especially in Italian dressing. YUM!!

Squash, raw, like for a veggie dip

Broccoli, but only if it’s smothered in cheese, the way my mommy makes it!

That’s about it. Obviously, not the healthiest list, and I have a hard time conceptualizing how I would actually incorporate this very short list into a healthy, well-rounded menu!

The fruit I like is an even shorter list: apples, oranges, watermelon, pineapple, red grapes, tangerines, clementines. I can sometimes choke down the occasional strawberry and raspberry, but that’s about it

So, what’s a girl to do? I need to eat healthier, including more veggies. Do y’all know of any veggies that I can add to my repertoire that are similar to what I’ve already got? Please, please, please help!

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Eternal Wisdom of the Southern Mind

Classic txt-chat from Skynyrd at City Stages, aka its death rattle, aka my birthday weekend extravaganza (because, really, how much cooler does it get than sharing a faded beach towel with your boyfriend while sitting with your parents and his parents?)

me: Eeew, what smell???

me: Seriously? That’s what that song is about?

TR: It’s about drugs and alcohol

me: Oh, rally? Never realized it. Is it critical or complimentary? B/c it doesn’t sound like he’s too happy about that smell

TR: Critical. ‘Too much smoke, too much coke; oak tree, you’re in my way.’ I think a friend of theirs died.

me: Ah. But he kept on doing it, didn’t he?

TR: Well yeah, probably. But he died in a plane crash, so drugs didn’t kill him.

me: I know, sad day. If you become a rock star, you have to promise not to ride in airplanes. It never ends well for the best ones. Or just promise to be mediocre

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